the walker boys and me...: "Happiness is an inside job." William Arthur Ward

I figure that no one really looks at this blog much, so I feel like I can use it like a scrapbook for our lives (since I have been TERRIBLE about actually keeping any sort of real scrapbooks for us). I figure someday this blog will be floating around in cyper space and Kirk can read all the things that happened and see all the pictures of us through the years. I am so thankful for pictures of me from the last year. The picture above is one year ago. I was about 40 pounds heavier, and although I thought I was happy, I wasn't. I didn't know how happy I could be, how great life really is, and how much better everything would be from trying harder to live a healthy life.

The picture below is from Mother's Day. I have made SO MANY changes. Healthy food and exercise have helped me to lose some weight and gain some strength. I have held myself accountable. If I gained weight, I knew exactly why. If I lost weight, I knew exactly why. I knew if I wanted to make the changes I needed to make to be a better mother, wife, and person, I had to hold myself accountable. I joined Weight Watchers in May of last year to "maybe lose 10 pounds," and once it started coming off, I was hooked. It feels SO GOOD to be 40 pounds lighter. I have energy. I am strong. My skin is clear. I don't get as hot and sweat like I used to. My clothes are smaller. My FEET are even smaller (who knew you could have fat feet?). Life is better, and happiness really is an "inside job."

I credit one of the biggest motivators for the last 6 months of my life to YOGA. I seriously LOVE yoga. I never thought in a million years that I would say I loved any type of exercise. Really. I have never been a person who even kind of enjoyed exercise. Yoga has changed my body. I thought after my pregnancy and c-section with Kirk I would never have a body that I wasn't disgusted by. My body will hold me up in all those crazy poses, and I can lift myself up on one hand or even my toes....it is amazing. I feel powerful, energized, and grounded...all at the same time. Yoga has taught me so much about myself. I can take time for myself. I can "breathe into the pain" and I am amazed at what my body can do. My knee and my hip don't hurt. My back and shoulders don't either. My mind feels clear when I leave a class. I can't imagine my life without it now. I know that it's just as important for me to take time for yoga as it is for me to do everything and be everything else. Tonight I went to a fund raiser hosted by Brown Dog Yoga (my yoga studio). At the end of the event, we were reminded of the stone that we were given when we checked in, and a quote from Mother Teresa, "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across waters to create many ripples." I held onto my stone and thought about that for a while tonight. I have been casting stones for a while now, and I hope my ripples effect something greater than me. If I can inspire others, that is amazing. I know I need to use this life for good, and to make the most of what I have, including my body and mind.